Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
