Buhtt sex?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize