His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
