I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
