New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
