I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
