I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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