Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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