plz talk dirty to me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
