There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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