If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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