Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
