haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
