Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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