im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
