Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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