i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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