She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
