Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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