Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize