He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
