Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
