I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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