Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
