Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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