i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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