hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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