I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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