Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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