and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
