I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
