I'm really into asian looking animals
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
