what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
