From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
