Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
