I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
