happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
