paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
