Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
