cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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