i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
