i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
