Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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