He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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