how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
