So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
