I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
