Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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