Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
