apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
