I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
