I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
