This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
