I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it because I queefed?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
