im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
