i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
