There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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