Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
