whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
