i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
