yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this will be a night to untag.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
