so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
